It takes a decent amount of vanity to blog. Really, it does. Because I have to think that people actually care about what I write to continue writing. Actually, I’m not sure anyone does, and I’m not sure anyone actually reads my posts. But that won’t really stop me from writing… I suppose this is like an over-sharing type of diary. It’s nice to monitor what I’m up to. I guess? I suppose that I just like talking, and this is another way of talking.
I have no idea. Okay, today’s topic will be oversharing. While doing college applications, I really realized that I don’t know who I am, but I know who I should be. I think that basically destroys the purpose of these applications… I’m supposed to express who I am, instead of what I think I should be. Too bad I have no idea who I actually am. I suppose these “who I should be”s can pretty much be “who I am”… I’m sure if I tell myself that “this” is what I am enough times, I will believe it. It will be internalized, it will become my truth. Either way, it’s not like I’m lying per se… it’s just that I’m coming up with the best answer that may or may not be true for me. I have no idea who I am. Oh well.
It’s December 12th! That’s kind of cool. 12/12. C- just told me that she’s having her golden birthday this year. I’m kind of sadness because my golden birthday was when I was three, and really, I don’t remember that birthday. C- I hope you have a great golden birthday. Wait, I’ll just reblog that on Friday, when it’s her actual birthday… instead of Seungri’s. J YES, THAT MAKES ME HAPPY ON THE INSIDE, OKAY? LEAVE ME ALONE.
Should I write a muse about vanity? Perhaps. Or actually, I should just talk about my short story. Which I haven’t started writing yet. But yeah, S- pointed out that all of our stories have sadness and death in it. We have made death into a cliché. Go us. However, I will not be different. I WANT THE BRUTAL KILLING IN MY STORY. Deal with it. And I want to do something terrible to my story at the end. I will have fun during workshop watching everyone freak out. Since no one reads my blog, no one will see this coming. Muahahahahahahahaha. Anyhow.
I always manage to blog. Every day. And not get any of my legitimate work done. How unfortunate (I don’t actually care that much). My sleep habits are so weird. Oh, Hopeless Romantic, last night I dreamed that we battled to the death. See the Seungri’s birthday post. I won, by the way. J Although I’m not sure you died. Also, I want that kind of awesome contraption in my backyard. It was lots of fun besides the fact that I was trying not to get killed by you. And trying to kill you. Or maul you. Or something like that. Anyways, I’m done for today. I will tell you later what my dream was about in detail. If I remember.
i definitely thought that instead of "sleep habits" you wrote "elephant habits" and i was a very confused child for all of 20 seconds.
ReplyDeletewriting truthfully about yourself--especially when the intent is to "sell yourself" (e.g. college application essay)--is the hardest. thinly disguised fiction is 100 times easier. unfortunately, this continues to be a problem even after college, when you just have to write cover letters for every job you apply to! i used to have my husband write my first paragraph for me, just to get me started...those who admire us most can more easily express the best things about us!
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