I'm legal

                I’m an adult now. But only in age. Not in maturity. It’s not like something’s going to change overnight… in fact, I might be less mature than I used to be. Or not. It’s not like my maturity increasingly dwindles. It just stays at a constant state of immaturity. And guess what? Don’t care if I am. As long as I’m living my life to the fullest (well… as much as I can with the restrictions that I have around me), it’s fine.

                I think birthdays for me have gotten to the point where I view it as one day/year closer to my death. When you’re little, you want to grow up. When you’re older, you want to stay young… And yeah, I’ve already gotten to that point. At one time or another in my life, I think I couldn’t wait to be 18. And people told me to be patient, that youth is more of a blessing than I thought. Of course, I didn’t believe them.

                How depressing! Today is supposed to be happy. Something about having the privilege to do lots of things now. Whatever, it’s not like I was so excited to… I’m not even sure. I know if I had a license, I wouldn’t have to wait my six months to drive people around (Inx). But, I have no license. So, overall, it’s not exactly that fun. And it’s not like I can go out and drink or something (not that I would). It’s just 18. Nothing really special happens at that age. I can go to big people jail. Obviously, that’s just such a big comfort. People make too big a deal out of it. It just means that I have about a billion more responsibilities than I used to. My parents can hold it over my head that you’re 18, you should help out around the house more. I don’t really want to, okay? Leave me alone.

                Still depressing and cynical. Right now, my birthday wish is to have a giant freak snowstorm that will freeze the school over in a giant block of ice that will not melt until April. That would be beyond awesome. Because I’m still going to college, and my classes are still useless, and really, WHY CAN’T I GO TO COLLEGE NOW. Because I’m sick and tired of high school.

                I think that one quality an adult must have is to be depressing, cynical, and nag and whine a whole bunch. Even though adults tell children not to whine, they sure as hell do, too. Hurray, I got that down perfectly. I can whine and nag like no tomorrow.

                Um, yeah. Not in the best mood ever.

               Well, I got to see Rosaline today! I missed her a lot… I’m glad she came to visit all of us. That’s more than I would do. I miss having her around. I really miss having the old seniors around… it’s okay without everyone, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t miss them.

                However, I guess it’s a good thing that I will be able to live without everyone. I’ve been worried… but life goes on. I meet new people, leave people behind, people leave me behind, whatever. I don’t know how I manage to be so pessimistic.

                Happy 18^th birthday, me.

Lucky Post and End of 2010

                This is post number 88, which is very, very lucky. In Asian standards. Lucky post, let’s go! So, today is the final day before 2011. The year of our graduation (some of you readers, anyhow). I think that means that I should write a legitimate post. That involves some kind of actual writing fiction. Sorry if you actually like reading real posts, and I’ve been posting up things that well… that I care about. And that I find interesting. Unfortunately, my sense of humor is rather… specific, so it’s not as interesting to other people… Too many references, nee?

                Also, I have managed to do absolutely no homework within this break thus far. You know how I totally planned on writing my short story during break? Not sure that’s going to happen. I imagined it out… kind of… but it’s not getting written. I just found that there’s so much to do, so many parties, so little time. Also, I have become nocturnal. I only sleep when my parents wake up again in the middle of the night at yell at me for not sleeping. Shame, I used to be such a good kid. And then I wake up with a pounding headache… oh goodness, my nights are just a bit too long. Also probably dehydrated.

                I also have an awesome new set of speakers in my room. And I threw away the old, and reorganized everything. I dearly hope that I didn’t throw away anything that was necessary. I’ve been kind worried about that. I’m pretty sure I threw about approximately 3.5 years of my life. It feels refreshing… I even replaced my childhood pictures with more recent ones. Again, extremely refreshing. Although I have to admit having someone that looks like you stare at you from a picture frame is really, really disturbing at first. My childhood pictures don’t look like me, so I never had that happen before.

                And college is done! I’m happy with whatever happens – I already got into a school that I would like to go to, and applying to more that I would like, too! It’s just perfect. I’m a happy child filled with joy. Redundant, but true. Also… I have yet to talk about writing fiction besides the fact that I haven’t started yet. Oops, sorry.

                Um, maybe I will post again later. This is definitely no longer a writing fiction blog, more like a Pink-feels-like blogging-and-sharing-so-she-will blog. Sorry, if you want to read my writing fiction stuff (like legitimate stuff), please read from the very beginning.

                Well, it’s not like this isn’t helping my writing skills. The more I write, the better I become at it. I find that writing really helps with introspection, although I am slightly wary of doing that online, especially… well. Just I’m wary now, and I wasn’t before. And so even though I’m not writing character sketches, I’m still writing. And you get to see a slice of my life. It’s interesting, nee? If it’s not, just lie to me. I want to believe that I am interesting.

                Either way, I should stop blogging now, and get started on homework that is actually due. Happy new year’s eve, and it was a great 2010! Perhaps I will do a new year’s resolution blog tomorrow… and a reflection of 2010… in addition to wishing Sungmin a happy birthday! I’ve totally been excited about this for about a month or so.

                Byebye, and I’ll see you 2011!