Oh my goodness what is wrong with me

So, I decided to do a stream of consciousness. Because I realized that I was thinking about things, and I really wanted to put them in my previous post, but I had to stay on topic. And make sense. Mostly. Making sense pretty much sucks a lot (NOT [the] ALOT OF SENSE *confused looking monster*). See, I am already creating tangents, which are awesome but they don’t help readers understand life. UNDERSTAND MY BRAIN, PLEASE DO IT. Also, I will write in the same type of grammar that I feel like I speak. With intensity and lack of punctuation and lack of sense and lack of continuity and oh hey there’s a flashing orange button I shall go see what he has to say to me right now. And he is trying to convince me that he is not witty, but obviously he is and he is just lying to me. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. SNEAKY. But I won’t fall for it. Because I CAN SEE YOUR LIE. YOUR LIE IS NOT TRICKING ME. Also I had a conversation with the interns that sit with me about tricking myself into getting one more hour sleep because of daylight savings. And then I realized because I know I am tricking myself, I would be able to outsmart myself and I still wouldn’t get extra sleep. DARN YOU BRAIN, STOP NOT FALLING FOR YOUR OWN TRICKS. Also, my caps probably don’t ever make sense. I think I am arbitrary. AND YOU, STOP MAKING FUN OF ME I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT. I just had 2 Kit Kats. I think this is also the reason for my insanity. But also I am just insane on a daily basis. I think I should stop being insane, but my brain will not stop for some reason. I’D LIKE TO MAKE SENSE, BRAIN. PLEASE LET ME MAKE SENSE. WHY ARE YOU SO UNCOOPERATIVE. You know, one day, I will realize that my brain is a single personality. But before then, I WILL CONTINUE TO TALK TO MYSELF. YES I CAPITALIZE TO EMPHASIZE MYSELF OR WHEN I FEEL LIKE SEEING CAPITAL LETTERS. And I kind of feel like I should start a new paragraph, but also I feel like I am talking about the same thing so I shouldn’t. But giant blocks of text scare people. E-, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? GIANT BLOCKS OF TEXT SCARE PEOPLE.

                Oh hey I just randomly decided to.  Because I was talking about indenting and I am still talking about indenting BUT I DECIDED TO APPLY WHAT I AM DOING and I should seriously draw pictures. But not really. I need to stop reading this blog (OH HEY I’M REMINDING MYSELF TO LINK LATER), but actually I will forget to link because I already have abnormal amounts of caps. THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHO DESIRE A RESPONSE POTENTIALLY. I am stopping typing.

                Oh an I decided to randomly indent before I left and I TRIED TO TYPE ON THE LAST PARAGRAPH AND THEN COMPUTER WAS LIKE NO, I WON’T LET YOU. And then I realized the purpose of indenting because I KNEW I WOULD FORGET AND YEAH, I DID. WHY SO MUCH ORANGE. WHY CAN’T I CHANGE IT TO PINK. WHY ARE YOU ALL SO NEEDY. Just kidding, I’m so much more needy than you all. ALSO, YOU, STOP LYING TO ME. Why do you lie to me. And why am I typing “like”. DO NOT LIE TO ME (I do not like you lying to me. brain, stop destroying my point by typing like whenever I think of lie. I do not like lies. Lies are bad for me. Especially when they are pointed at me).

                ELKS. They are like moose but not exactly. And they are FURRY. Aren’t they? Also, you lie to me a lot. It makes me burn with rage and salty tears on the inside. But not the outside. I FEEL SLIGHTLY NUMB. I think that streams of consciousness are bad for my health. That was a non sequitur. I wonder if anyone is still reading because this is not exactly a fabulous post, it’s more like WHAT THE CREPE IS GOING ON WITH MY BRAIN. Oh noes, I censored myself. Because I realized that I do not want swearing to me IMMORTALIZED (wow, why am I so melodramatic) into my blog. As if my blog is going to EXIST FOREVER AND THEN IT WOULD SUCK.

                ARBITRARY INDENTING BECAUSE I LIKE INDENTS. I like fragmented sentences too. Also Hopeless Romantic (aka L-) just destroyed my sense of reality. Parents do not make you watch movies, unless they are educational. OR IF THEY WANT BONDING TIME WITH YOU.

                Oh my goodness, I am actually really terrified. I’m going numb. That usually only happens when I stop breathing or I hyperventilate or I’m really upset. But I’m not upset right now. I’m just going numb and it’s scary and MAKE IT STOP. MAKE IT STOP NOW. AUUUUUGGHHHHH I’m being sent into a panic that is making me more numb and not able to see clearly.

                I am going to end this stream of consciousness because I think my consciousness is actually ending right now. Goodbye.  


Post-SoC-Note, exactly 36 minutes later: I realized that I forgot to link. I knew it. Why do I know myself so well. Why am I a disappointing child. On a brighter note, I'm not dead yet. Anyways, here is the link. Why do I utterly fail at life. I am depressed, but too busy to be depressed at the same time. I should do something productive, maybe. BUT SHE'S SO INTERESTING. I wonder if Awkward Zombie updated...

Post note, exactly 45 minutes later: I realized that I'm going to read this point later, and not realize what the crepe I was talking about. But, I was mostly addressing the "you"s to !!!, because he was making me enraged. I JUDGE YOU, !!!, I JUDGE YOU.

Rant #2 Go!

So I realized that if I tried to analyze Nilda and/or Brownies in the way that I’ve been trained to do (with CDs and CMs and whatnot), it would just turn out bad. And boring. And so, ready, set, RANT NUMBER TWO GO!

Oops. My music is not on. Let me go find it.

Alright, and about fifteen minutes later the music turns on. Really, I need to not do that. Oh well~ Ever, ever after! Because I was thinking of the movie! She’s such a memorable character. Because she’s a Disney character that’s not in a Disney movie. And she’s just so ridiculous! She sings with animals and randomly dances and has no sense of shame. It’s just fabulous – I almost feel like everyone should be as awesomely naïve as her. But then, society would stop functioning. Because fairy tales don’t actually work. But she’s fabulous! And cute and adorable and full of fun J

So let’s start with Nilda. I kind of really didn’t like this story. It was just really, extremely awkward. And I don’t like awkward things. And reading it just made me not want to finish it. But it was an assignment. So I did finish it. And afterwards, I’m going “what just happened” with a confused look on my face. It was extremely colloquial? I suppose that’s the right term, considering there’s like a ridiculous amount of swearing in there. I don’t like that kind of story. And really, I did think that Rafa was a jerk. For not saying anything to Nilda when she poured her soul out to him. But then, after talking in class, I could see that he’s letting her down in his own way – letting her leave brokenhearted now rather than not able to move on after he died. It wasn’t the best way, but it was his own method.

Okay, tangent: song that’s on right now: Forever and Always, “and I flashback to when we said forever and always” that reminded me of flashbacks! And digging through our memories.

And I wanted to share my friend S-‘s and E-‘s (so, I really like talking about E- it seems, she’s just such a huge part of my life) memories! Because mine are just so boring. So, on S-‘s 15^th birthday, we were all at my friend L-‘s house (we were throwing a surprise party), and well, my friend L- is fabulous and full of interesting ideas and she decided that we should all pretend to be dead when S- came. And so we did. Just this morning, S- was a bit worried as to what we were all up to, rather than if we were alive or not. Or something like that. I actually have no idea what she thought. She just said she was “kind of worried”. But we were so bad at being “dead” that she couldn’t be worried that we were hurt.

Anyways, E-‘s memory! She had a… I have no idea. It was like some kind of Clue party. Or not. Perhaps. I believe so. Anyways, she had all of us dress up. And L- was fabulous as always. She was a… biker guy, I believe. She had her hair all slicked back, and was wearing baggy jeans and a really baggy sweatshirt with guy sunglasses. She totally rocked the look.

So I feel I should talk about Brownies and the Parrot story. Which I definitely thought was a “Carrot” story. I wrote carrot into my planner.

And so I don’t really feel like talking about these stories. Brownies was… I guess it had a good message at the end. It was just kind of funny there were a troop of girls who were probably 7 or 8 years old, or younger (I have no idea what Brownies, the troops, actually are), and they’re just like “I’m going to beat you up” (which totally reminds me of D-, because she loves saying that. Except for she says it like “Imma beetchu up”. It’s ridiculously funny and slightly endearing). But it’s not so fabulous they’re like that because little girls should not go beat people up.

Parrot story – the guy was so pathetic. It was really sad. He fell out of a tree and died trying to spy on his wife. Or the guy that he suspected his wife was with. Did he die in the end? I didn’t really get it.

I feel so negative! I don’t tend to like stories, it seems. I like Inx’s stories. Even when they are depressing. But they’re beautiful.

Okay, I got bored. My hair is wet and uncomfortable. It is sticking to my head. And especially my neck. And soaking through the back of my shirt, and making my back feel all soggy and gross. Ew, but at least my hair smells good. And is silky and shiny.

Alright, and I think I’m done with this rant.

This rant feels a whole ton less successful than the previous one.

Oh well, that’s okay.