Insanity

                So, to my chagrin, I’m falling deeper and deeper into fangirl-land. And knowing me and my obsessiveness, I will wish the K idols happy birthday on my blog, thus cementing my role as a fanatic fangirl. Seriously, I want to do it. But it’s just like, i don’t know. I’m not sure I totally appreciate being just another one of those mindless zombies… I guess I can deal with it? Since I’m acting like one anyhow. I guess worshipping real (well, they live and breathe, not sure how much of their image is real though) people (guys) is better than worshipping animated ones. I’m growing up, okay?

                Anyways, what brought up this random fangirling comment? Seungri is turning 20/21 in about a week. And I was like that’s so intense and then I realized that it was quite sad that I memorized their birthdays. Although I’m probably going to forget soon. Because my memory is just that bad. And also, the fact that I know birthdays is ridiculously pathetic. I’m not accepting this fangirl status very well.

                Anyways, I decided to have another conversation with Linali. Yay, I finally appeared! You were neglecting me. I still don’t really want to think about you. I have other more important things, like college. And K idols. But if you don’t think about who I am, and what I will be in your story, your story’s going to be totally messed up when you write it. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. What color eyes do you have? Grey. That’s kind of creepy. But also mysterious at the same time. They’re grey like death. Shouldn’t it be black like death? Black eyes are so forking (she is censored) creepy. Yup. Pretty much.  Did you just censor me? Yeah. I don’t want that kind of language on my blog. But I want to choose how I get to speak! Actually, it would just be epic awkward for me to have people read that. So no, as of now you don’t really get to swear, unless I say “she swore under her breath.” No actual swear swords. Awww… okay. Yeah, it’s supposed to go with your dignified (haha) and elegant style. HEY. I AM SO DIGNIFIED. DON’T YOU DARE LAUGH AT ME. The more I write these, the more I just realize that Linali is myself. Well duh, I’m a part of your brain. But that’s so awkward. I don’t want my character to reflect me so much. This is why I was going to not make you Asian. But you ended up being Asian anyhow. Because I am awesome. And Linali just sounds Asian. Even if it’s an Americanized spelling of Lenalee. It’s derived from an Asian name. Yeah, I know, I know. Let’s see… this is like, a stream of consciousness/mind-barf version of me deciding what kind of character she is. You are… of medium height. A little on the small side, to fit into small spaces. Where the crepe am I going? Why do I need to fit into small spaces? Well, you do shadowy work. It would be good if you could hide. Also, your hair is going to be just above your waist. Wow, do I die by getting it caught in something? Okay, fine, a little shorter than that. A little longer than mid-back. Shorter. NO. it’s a compromise, and I’m still the writer, and… why on earth am I compromising with myself. Haha, you’re insane. And you’re the result of a troubled mind. Perhaps you’ll be of some… mixed breed. I am NOT a dog. I meant mixed heritage. Maybe not solely Asian. Because you need to look similar to other people, like high cheekbones and whatnot, but still have wide, almond shaped eyes (yes, it works like that) and black hair. Your eyes aren’t that slanted either. Perhaps you have some European blood mixed into you several generations back.

                Hmm, your habitat. I am not an animal. Your habitat will be HEY. STOP IGNORING ME. this secluded house in the middle of a forest. Or by a cliff. Or in the ocean. Let’s just try in the forest. Wait, no, that doesn’t work. You like forest-y places, but you don’t live in the forest. Because otherwise, you have no reason to go up with him into his cabin up on a mountain overlooking this beautiful and deep lake. Hmm, you can’t really live in the city either. You need human interaction though. Maybe instead of an investor working from home, you’ll live in a giant estate just outside of town, but work in a famous boutique. After all, you’re being paid in other ways, it doesn’t matter to you what your salary is for your cover-up job. And you meet some of your clients that way. Maybe you work in a male clothing store. And your uniform is… black tailored pants, a white button down shirt, black vest, and black pumps. Your hair is tied up. What the heck? I’m a waiter? No. But I rather like the idea of that outfit. Also you make me sound like a prostitute. You’re not, I guarantee it.  But you meet lots of rich, bored males that resent people with a passion.  I still feel like a whore. Ah, whatever, you’re not.

                You need a code name. Um, I feel like calling you Prince. Because you’re going to be super intense with martial arts and that makes me think of Sungmin. And he’s super adorable. Okay, this conversation just ended because I’m going off on a tangent about K idols again. Okay, even though I didn’t really talk about them that much – I think I talked about them enough to be able to put a picture on. Hurray! Picture time!