Nature is Scary

                So I considered doing a Secret part 3 today, but then I reconsidered. I’ll redo the ending so that it’s not so abrupt and hurried someday, but not today. Also, I think that after today I’ll stop blogging so regularly. And stop feeling the need to post photos all the time. Only when I feel like it. sometimes, I feel like I’m just posting one because I said I would.

                I learned today that actually quite a few people read my posts. Hurray, kind of. If you don’t like the way I blog, then stop. Seriously. I write so that I am amused. It’d be nice if you were amused too (and when I say “it’d be nice”, I mean be amused/interested or go away). So go away all you unwanted readers. *Annoyed* Anyways.

                Today, I seriously don’t feel like blogging. I’ll write a random story for you.

***

(See, I’m so bored that I don’t even use awesome divider things. Also, I have zero idea what I am going to say or where I am going with this, but whatever, I’ll go with what comes to me)

                Once upon a time, there was a young maiden with flowing green locks and wide orange eyes. She lived deep in the woods, yet had an absolute fear of all things natural. She managed to collect enough scrap metal to build a shiny house that was a barrier between her and the evil, evil nature. She would stare in constant fear out of the little slits in her small house, and tremble whenever a squirrel scurried by. She lived in a state of paranoia, refusing to eat natural substances, but instead getting sustenance from this magical bin in which food appeared randomly. She had no idea where the food came from or why, but the process was completely unnatural so she did not care. She tossed her food scraps out through a small and reinforced window she had in her one-room home, making sure to make sure there were no natural things like weather or atmosphere that could come through. She did so quickly and with a skittishness that bordered on hysteria. Unlock, open, toss, slam, CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK. Locks were her best friend. They helped her against this nature thing.

                One day, she went through the motions of slowly creeping toward her garbage-tossing window. She shifted her eyes right and left, and looked for any signs of nature that might attack her the second she opened the hole in the wall. She swiftly slid the various locks open with her trembling pale fingers. As soon as she opened the door-thing, she saw horror of all horrors: a chipmunk. It chattered at her, and she screamed with the intensity of a nuclear explosion. When she opened her eyes again, she noticed that a nice fifty foot circle from her window had been completely charred and desolate, and that the horrid furry thing had been reduced to a pile of ashes. She breathed a sigh of relief at the close call, and dumped the trash outside the window. Without a second thought, she locked all the locks, and continued with her everyday, comfortably unnatural life.

***

                What on earth was that. I’m crazy. Also, this is the last post of November, I believe. And a picture! I promise after this one, there will only be a picture if it’s relevant. Or I feel like posting one. Or maybe I’ll just keep posting them because I will feel a secret pressure to. Shut up, you.

Secret, Part 2

                I decided to rewrite my Secret post, because now I have something to base it off of. I decided that I would write a muse and base it off of Big Bang’s Coffee Prince parody, and pretend that GD actually is a girl. I mean, he’s supposed to be anyways. Also, just to let you know what I’m looking at right now: pictures of Sungmin and his epic pinkness. It’s really adorable. Him meowing at the kitty ♥ awwww ♥ Anyways, back to writing fiction…

♥♥♥

                She surveyed herself critically in the mirror, and daintily turned in a full circle, seeing how her body fit into the new clothes. She had just cropped her long brown locks into a boy-cut, and had gotten masculine clothes to match. I look good! She stuck her tongue out and winked at her reflection in the mirror, but quickly chastised herself. Boys do not behave like that! She scolded herself mentally. Sighing, she focused on presenting herself as more masculine. She drew up her hood, and stuffed her hands inside her pockets. She tried to walk with a swagger, but only succeeded in making herself crack up. I look so dumb, she thought. Oh, for the sake of love! She was going to ask for a job today from that popular coffee shop with the gorgeous manager. Those strong cheekbones, that flawless skin! The shop only hired flower boys, and definitely wouldn’t let a girl into their staff. They would lose their popularity with the female crowd. She raised her nose into the air, and gave a haughty look worthy of an idol. Bracing herself for battle, she swaggered out the door, practicing her man-walk.

                She timidly entered the shop, worried that they might see right through her ruse. Idols and flower boys do not behave like that, she reprimanded herself as she straightened up. She walked with what she believed was a confident and masculine walk, although what really turned out to be an awkward, hip-swaying strut. “I’d like to apply for a job,” she asked, trying to deepen her voice as possible, staring deep into those dark eyes of the manager.

                As if a blessing in disguise, she was suddenly accosted by the two other waiters. “Aww, he’s so cute! Hire him!” They cooed and they pinched his cheek. No, no, no! Only he can touch me in such a familiar manner! Her heart cried out, but she stood with a stoic expression, staring at the manager. With a glint of amusement, he asked, “You look like such a weak boy. But we need someone for the talent section. Can you dance?”

Quickly, she began dancing in a “manly” fashion that included the wild flailing of limbs. She struck a pose, and gave him a cheeky smile. “What do you think?

With an amused light in his eyes and a suppressed smile, he said, “Sure. You start right now.”

♥♥♥

I actually really liked it this time! And picture of Sungmin today, because I wrote about GD and T.O.P, and really Big Bang, too.

Secret

Now starts the second half of the rest of this blog’s life. Just kidding. I have no idea or any intention when this blog is going to end, but it seems unlikely at this stage that it will be ended within the next 50 posts.

                Well, I suppose I should write a character sketch, or a muse, or something that has to do with creative writing. After all, for the past few posts, I’ve just been talking about my life, and really, this is still a writing fiction blog until the class is over. Maybe I’ll do a character sketch. Easiest.

⃝⃝⃝

                Her hair was cropped short, like a boy’s, as she wore loose clothing that hid her figure. Her hands were stuffed into her pockets, and she walked with a masculine swagger. She tilted her head up to survey people with a look of indifference; acting the aloof idol everyone had painted her. When she saw a few younger girls giggling and trying to catch her attention, she flashed them that dazzling smile, and consequently watched the burst into fits of girlish happiness. She sighed internally. She hated her role. What she wouldn’t give to just be a normal girl, who could laugh as they did, who had friends that were girls, who could actually be girls on the outside…

Her eyes lit up as she caught sight of her friends walking toward the track. She almost raised her hand and waved at them in delight, but caught herself – instead, she sauntered over to them, quickly, and clapped her hand against her best friend’s back, in a properly masculine way. Her mouth curled up into a silly smile, far too wide for the idol appearance, but she couldn’t help it. He just made her so happy, always. She couldn’t ever let him know that. Not with what she was pretending to be.

The boys gathered around her, and they began chatting about their usual useless things. She glanced one last furtive glance at that boy, and turned her full attentions to her role.

⃝⃝⃝

Okay, wow, I think I just didn’t want to write. It’s okay, I fulfilled my post for the day. I could fix it to make it less choppy, but at this point I don’t really want to. Picture for the day:

Mid-blog crisis

                This is my fiftieth post. Isn’t that absolutely fabulous? I was told that I should make it special, because that’s such a milestone number. On the other hand, shouldn’t I be going through my mid-blog crisis? I mean, really, 50? It’s so old. Wait, actually, I probably should’ve had my mid-blog crisis a long time ago. I thought that I would just completely stop blogging at 50. But also, I said that I would blog once for every day (staring from that random day, the thirteenth, I believe) in November. Therefore, to finish that, I would need to blog more than 50 times. And I realized, I rather like blogging, so why not just keep going, even after the class is over? After all, this isn’t much of a writing fiction blog anymore. So far, I have succeeded in not making this special at all. Maybe I should put fireworks in. Maybe I should’ve blogged extra so that this post would’ve landed on Thanksgiving. Maybe I should not put a picture of Big Bang up today just to make today special (ha, yeah right). Maybe I should – nah, nevermind.

                After all, I really have nothing to talk about. It’s a lot about what I should have done, or should do, as opposed to what I am doing. Oh my goodness, I am really actually having a mid-blog crisis.Flail flail flail fail flail oh no this blog is halfway to it’s death already! Actually, it’s probably either more than halfway to its death, or nowhere near that. I think that this is a better way of keeping a diary. Except for it’s a whole ton more public, and I’m a whole ton less angsty. Actually, having this be a mid-blog crisis is oddly amusing and hilarious to me. People’s dreams are rather hilarious. I like J-‘s dream. It is fun and fabulous, although if I were there I would be pretty freaked out. Also, E- is equal to Eeyore because she lost her tail and was desperately trying to find it. I would be kind of really disturbed if E- grew a tail. Or if I grew a tail. I think that tails would be very inconvenient. I had a dream where I had to perform with C-, but she was dying of asthma/lung cancer. It was kind of extra morbid. In the end, she couldn’t sing anymore and it was extra terrible. She didn’t die though, so that was okay.

                People live in literal land. More than prism people. That was so shocking to me. And it was kind of extra hilarious, and I was extra cruel and terrible and mocked them. But not really mock. More like, pretended I was extra literal. Okay, maybe I was mocking them. But hopefully, they are the opposite of sarcastic and do not realize. But if they do not realize, I will be extra sad because really, what does that mean the world is coming to? Sadness. There is absolutely no snow left. The air is getting warmer and warmer. This means that I actually have to do homework and prepare for Monday. That’s actually even more saddening than the literal land people. I would really rather not work at all.

                I have this habit of tying my hair up funny when I’m at home. I tie it into two buns, one at the very top of my head and one at the back of my head. This way, I can be sure that all of the hair is out of my face. I’m not sure why I keep long hair when I hate it in my face or feeling it on my neck. It’s just so… inconvenient. But also, I have decided to have long hair from now on. I was sorely tempted to cut it after my whole heartbreak heartache thing as a “moving on” gesture, but then I realized that it wasn’t worth growing it out again. Sorry, you’re not worth it. I love my hair more than you matter to me.

               I’ve had a really nice long break. No work, no homework (well, I will have homework, I just haven’t done it thus far), minimal college (that was a really bad decision on my behalf. I really should’ve just caught up on my work while I could). Sleep is fabulous, and so is just lazing around the house. I feel like a kitty. I do not want to be a kitty. Kitties do not like me. I scream at them and then they do backflips and run out the door. This is the relationship I have with kitties.

                I was going to do a complimentary piece of Inx’s violence piece, but I changed my mind. I’m not really in the mood. Also, that post really freaks me out. Maybe I’ll do a piece that is similar… or in the objective of the abuser? It would be an interesting take. I’ll see, maybe I’ll do the two points of view again. And it would be a writing fiction post. I wonder even if after the class is over, if I will do writing-practice pieces on my blog. Perhaps I will, but I believe that a vast majority of them will be very much like this – random and broken and talking about anything and everything that I want.

                And thus is a window to the brain of InvisiblePink. Perhaps I will make this post special by making it extra long. After all, I’m sure I can just go on and on and on and on about anything and everything. It’ll just be not that interesting. Hmm, what else to talk about. Surprisingly, I’m drawing a blank. I usually don’t do that, like ever. Or maybe when I’m pressuring myself to keep writing, I automatically cannot anymore. Or perhaps whenever I draw I blank, I draw a blank subconsciously and then I just wrap up my post consciously. And then I think that I am super awesome for never drawing a blank, but maybe I do on a constant basis! Oh goodness, subconscious vs. conscious attention… implicit versus explicit? Declarative versus non-declarative? I think I need to read the textbook, since I was gone a lot from class these last two chapters. Shame on me.

                I really like raspberries. But only in lotion. It makes everything smell absolutely fabulous. And it makes me want to eat raspberry desserts. No, not actually raspberries. Just the desserts, because the lotion smells fabulously sweet and yummy. I think I have changed a lot from when I was little. I’m looking at the little picture of me when I was in elementary school. I don’t really bear any semblance, not at all. Of course, that’s just from my perspective. People tell me (well, Asian parents) that I’m growing every time I see them. It’s really exciting, besides the fact that they’re obviously lying to me. I haven’t grown in forever. I’d like to think that I’m growing, but that’s just a feeble attempt to make myself feel better. I’d also like to think that I’ve come to terms with my height, but I really haven’t done that either.

                E- is so cruel. She was like, “can you get that basket by yourself?” And then I try to. And then I flail in midair, and then she laughs at me because she knows that I could’ve have gotten it in the first place. She just wanted me to because she is a cruel and cold person. Shame on you. Actually, I have that problem at internship too. I just reach for things that are on high shelves, and then I flail for about fifteen minutes and then realize that I can use a pen or another pokey tool to use as an extension of my arm. Except for not fifteen minutes, and I realize that it’s probably a bad idea. I don’t really want things to come toppling down and make a loud noise at internship. I can do that at home. Or at school, where it is loud already. But J- would beg to differ. She says my house seems like it is abandoned and haunted and really creepy. But I could never live in a haunted house. I would get too freaked out all the time.

                I think I really want food. I am blogging about food and my stomach is complaining about how it’s not getting any food. But, stomach, I am blogging and therefore cannot get you any food! You must understand this. Oh stomach, stop complaining, I don’t think I’m going to stop typing until I reach 2,000 words. So far, I am around 1,400. Only 600 more to go, which is actually a pretty easy task. Okay, maybe food first, if you absolutely insist. But I will not post until I am at an epic word count. And this post is ridiculously long, and no one wants to read it. Maybe I will add a picture in the middle, just to keep people going. Actually, it wouldn’t keep anyone going besides me. I like pictures.  

                I like pictures. Pictures are worth a thousand words. If they are actually worth a thousand words, then my word count is around 2,500 right now. Ha, I win. But no, I will actually get around 2,000 words if not more. Maybe I will tell you about my dreams. Hm, no, I think I will get food first. I want food. Food is good.

                Hurray! Food was good. And I have completely lost my train of thought. But also, if one picture is worth a thousand words, then what about a video? That’s like a whole ton of pictures put together, with sound. That’s got to be worth a lot of words, yes? Haha, I won’t post a video. That would be kind of ridiculous.

                I’m also amazed by the number of scams that are floating around these days. I don’t understand why it has come to attention all of a sudden: have they increased in number, or have they simply just gotten more interesting? Also, it’s kind of shocking that there are so many, and that everyone seems to be getting them/getting exposed to them. After, prisoners/refugees in Africa/England/etc. need our support (and bank numbers and social security numbers and all that). Ha, I wonder how many people they are able to trick. It’s really badly done… you’d think that everyone would be smart enough not to give away their social security numbers, emails, addresses, identities… But I’m sure it works. Maybe even one in a hundred thousand, but that’s enough to make it worthwhile (actually, I have no idea). Silly people, do not listen to scams.

                I do not get spam. Or maybe I do, but my email is just extra awesome and gets rid of it before I see it. Therefore, I just know that it exists, but it doesn’t have to clutter up my inbox. Although seriously, some colleges clutter up my inbox. I do not care about some colleges, nor will I ever think of applying and/or attending that college. No matter how much you beg and plead and send emails and mail and kill more trees. I will not take pity on you.  You are not important enough to me. I just delete you right when you get into my inbox. I do not even bother looking at the messages. So stop sending them to me. You’re obnoxious.

                I just realized that in three weeks, I’ll have winter break. Isn’t that awesome? There was just a week off for Thanksgiving and snow, and in three weeks, there will be two weeks off for sheer awesomeness. That makes me smile with absolute dazzling joy. But also, it means that my early action decisions are coming back… which would definitely make or break my winter break. Oh my goodness, I am so amazingly scared. I really want to be accepted, but I do not know if I can be. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I will get at least deferred. *Frets* I hate thinking about that.

                And that, ladies and gentlemen, is over 2,000 words. Hurray! I can’t believe that writing my extended essay was so hard (just kidding, those were 4,000 relevant words, as opposed to this randomness). I will go post more pictures of Big Bang. *scrolls through my ever increasing album of pictures* I do not know which one I will pick today. Well, I just know it will be extra fabulous, anyhow.

Black Friday is pretty dreary

                Black Friday! I decided not to go shopping this year. I’m not even sure if I went shopping last year either. I’m just not exactly fond of being in places where there are giant throngs of people desperate shopping for their lives. I mean really, it’s not like things are super on sale beyond belief. They’re just a little more on sale than they usually are. And I don’t really need anything. I mean, how many people in America end up buying things they don’t need just because of this “super awesome sale” that actually isn’t that awesome. Also, I’m pretty sure that most people would buy electronic, in which case why not just buy online? I’d rather just sit at home with a cup of hot cocoa, and watch everyone else freak out about the sales. Consumerism, look at where you’ve led us.

                I realized that I need to write more for my college essays. And that I’m pretty much procrastinating beyond all belief… it’s like the early ones were turned in, and then I just gave up completely. Which is a terrible idea I realize. Well, today, I am not going shopping. I am not going to do anything else besides blog and do college things. *Absolute resolve!!* Well, that’s not going to happen. But I can sure try, and try desperately.

                Yesterday, I actually didn’t eat that much. I actually dislike Asian parties (pretty sure I am definitely breaking rules of Asian-ness by saying this), and I pretty much dislike the food. I only like certain foods. And I dislike eating in front of people. And on the floor. With a paper plate. In my lap. That just spells disaster. I will definitely without fail get food all over me and look like a complete idiot. Actually, it’s just that I don’t like being with these people… it’s not like I’m close to them at all. I’d rather be with my prism family. They are better family. Well, it’s not like I hate these people. It’s just that I’m not especially comfortable with them.

                Anyhow, these gatherings are not especially full of fun or win, or even vaguely amusement. I tend to skip them a lot, but this year I was forcibly dragged to it. I would have much rather stayed at home and listened to awesome music and danced dorkily in the privacy of my own room. And eaten whatever things that were at home. And would have given much thanks to the fact that I had the internet, free time, and awesomeness by myself. Oh well, what’s done is done. I remember when I was little, and I would beg that I could stay just ten more minutes. Now, the only time that I beg for ten more minutes is when I’m asleep. Please, just leave me alone, just ten more minutes… Pretty much. Growing up pretty much sucks, I think. Yeah. It does.

                What do I want for Christmas? Big Bang, please, under my Christmas tree ♥! Or at least a Christmas album released by them. They said they would! Christmas will consist of blaring a newly released album by them. Awesome!

                Just kidding. Best Christmas present would be college acceptance letters. If I don’t get that, my Christmas will inevitably suck, and I will be tapping out various essays while being epicly angst and sulk.

                Let’s not think of that. I’d rather look at awesome pictures of Big Bang.

Glomped~ ♥

I just realized that I could post .gifs on my blog. And Seungri is just so adorable, and I totally love G-Ri ♥. I know it's Thanksgiving, and not even near Christmas, but I have to post this~ ♥They're so close. And dorky. It makes them just seem so much more real~ I love dorkiness.



G-Dragon: *shuffles over* *KISSUUUU LOVE LOVE BEAM*
Seungri: *desperately tries to keep talking to the camera and avoid GD*
Taeyang: *clings to Seungri's shirt*
T.O.P: *Wait, what's going on*
Daesung: *Turns around* *looks* *turns back around, ignores*
Haha ♥

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

                Happy thanksgiving everyone! Oh no! The snow is beginning to melt! Usually, I look out my left and look at the beautiful snow covered rooftop of my neighbor’s house, but now little bits of the black tiling of the rooftop is peeking through. It reminds me that the weather is getting warmer, and the snow is soon going to be gone. I really liked the frosty winter wonderland, and it makes me sad to see it go.

                Thanksgiving is all about giving thanks, yes? Therefore, I’ll write a post giving thanks (yet again) to all the wonderful people in my life. I think I’ll leave them anonymous… although they’re probably pretty obvious. If I forgot you, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re any less important to me, it just means that I forgot you. That sounds bad, doesn’t it? Well, if you know me and my memory, it’s really not that bad…

Hi, thanks for putting up with my random antics and having the most patience and kindness out of everyone in the world. You’re absolutely fabulous, and I’m really glad that I met you ♥. You love me unconditionally, and I’m extra grateful for that. Oh, and thank you for music. Definitely. Before I knew how to get music myself, I’m pretty sure I bugged you forever. And listening to and watching random vids with me.

Hey you, thank you for extraordinary hugs and happiness! Your hugs are always full of joy and warmth, and I love them forever. You’re such a strong support, and full of fantastic-ness like cookies and generosity. I like sweet things. And you! You are so sweet and lovely and fabulous and I could eat you up nomnomnom. Just kidding, I prefer you in the non-eaten form. You’re a wonderful person, and your kindness makes you glow! I love you ♥!

Thank you for the world! You’re always there to listen to my problems, even when everyone else is absolutely tired of listening to them. You’re willing to be anything that I need you to be, no matter how obnoxious that role might be to you. You’re my other half (platonically), and thank you for making me complete (platonically). J Thank you for your fluffy coats, for your kindness, for our laughs, for the memories, for your friendship ♥.

Thank you for being yet another wonderful new addition to my world. Thank you for listening, for being you, for sharing, for trusting me, for sharing my interests, for laughing, for making me laugh! I love that you actually like what I like, and I can show you random things and expect you to enjoy it. Thank you for having a wonderful sense of humor, and being everything you are.

Thank you (more than one person) for just being you, and getting to know me. I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with, nor to hang out with, or even to interact with. Thank you for giving me a chance, and I hope you didn’t regret it. You are fabulous people yourselves, and I’m glad that I got to know you too! It always makes me happy to discover new things about people, and I’ve discovered so many new things about you! Thank you and I look forward to the future.

Thank you for being my “siblings” and entertaining me J. It actually does mean a lot to me, and thank you for being those people in my life.

Thank you all for making me laugh and smile! You are wonderful people, and I’m so lucky to have you all in my life ♥.

                Oh, and thanks to Korean idols for being the most awesome thing ever. Here’s a picture to show my utter devotion (that, and I made a pledge to myself to post a picture up every day):

Give me the phone, baby!

I can't stop laughing, not even kidding. Sorry for clogging up everyone's feeds, but this is the best parody ever ♥

Dear readers, please go to snowy Denmark to meet KOREA

                Confession time: I definitely check the stats on my dashboard to see who has been reading my site a lot. It’s like an obsession. I really like knowing that people do read my blog. It’s quite flattering, really. And yes, some of you probably read because I flood your feed, because there’s something that I’ve noticed that’s really amusing and awesome: I have readers (potentially consistent) from Denmark! Hurray! I don’t know if there are actual readers from Denmark. But it looks like it. And that’s just so awesome that people that aren’t in the US actually read my blog. If there actually isn’t someone that read my blog on like, a consistent basis, please don’t tell me. I’d like to live in my own delusion for as long as I can. I guess I just don’t really expect people that aren’t Inx to read my blog? J Yay Inx, I love you very, very much. Actually, I wonder who else reads on a consistent basis. Maybe no one.

               Also, yeah, the Denmark readers were the subject that I was so desperately trying to remember yesterday! Hurray, I remembered. Hi Denmark, I love you. As a country. Also, it’s still a gorgeous white outside – the world is frozen in time, under a layer of pure and icy whiteness. A powdery lightness, a coldness that seeps into your limbs and numbs everything, as the world slows to a lazy crawl. Vaguely aware of the surroundings, all that passes through are thoughts of beauty, the ethereal grace of snow… the white paints itself on the insides of your eyelids as they close, lost in the winter landscape forever.

                Hurray, short writing piece! And now, I will do a commentary on AsTheCrowFlies’s blog (yeah, I couldn’t come up with a better than for you than just the title of your blog. Courtesy of me. It’s oddly math-y. I guess that fits you really well.  His Thanksgiving post is very, very much like !!!’s style… actually the last three posts (Dear You, Honest College App, and Thanksgiving) are all extremely like  !!!. I like it very much – it makes me laugh. Definitely. Actually, I wonder if it’s just that I like !!! that I like these posts. Maybe not. I don’t know. But yes, I should work on my college apps. And not be as honest as you were. And if the world were as “incompetent” as you, they’d be a lot better off. I think you give the world a whole ton more credit than it deserves. Also, stop posting so much. You make me feel like I should post more.

                I seem to be writing shorter and shorter posts now. Mostly because I’m listening to music. C-, I REALLY LOVE SHINEE’S ALBUM. I usually don’t listen to them, but I really like it! And “The Leaders” by GD. I’ve been listening to the song on repeat. And I’ve gotten through it fifteen times already. ♥ But I keep feeling like I’ve heard the melody somewhere before. I suppose it’s actually quite likely that the melody was used somewhere else before. But I don’t know. CL is kind of really amazing. Seriously, for someone of nineteen, and to be a leader of an internationally renowned girl group, that’s really amazing. I admire her quite a bit.

                Okay here’s the obligatory picture! Let’s see… what do I want to post today… I think I’ll post a picture of T.O.P ♥ He looks so self satisfied. It’s actually quite adorable. But I’m biased, obviously. By the way, I couldn't think of a title, so I asked Inx, and he told me to do a mashup of all the subjects in the post. So I did. ♥

Headache and sickness

                It’s weird. It’s like I forgot that were was any kind of painkiller my house. Yesterday, my illness was pretty terrible. I was shivering and had a pounding headache. It was like a dull thump – and there was nothing I could do to get rid of it. I had lots of herbal remedies and tea and whatnot, but it didn’t really seem to help (yes, it does help usually. I believe that). And no matter what, I couldn’t get warm – even under layers and layers of quilts. So I lay in my bed, curled up and in pain, feeling like I was just going to die. Basically, last night was pretty terrible overall. I woke up this morning to the bright sun – and seriously, the first thought that ran through my head was I wonder if this is what a hangover feels like. For some reason, I believed that once I slept, I would be better the next morning. Wrong. I was in just as much pain the next morning. Basically any movement at all made my head throb with a vengeance. So, like I always do, I stumbled onto my computer to go check my email. I think I have a slight obsession with that. And Julia told me to go take Advil. But I did not have Advil. So I dug around for various other medication and painkillers, and I managed to find some. Half an hour later, I felt a whole ton better and wondered why I didn’t think about finding painkillers the night before. I would have made the night a whole ton less painful and full of suffering. L

                I’m exhausted. I managed to not do anything this entire day, or really yesterday either. I love the snow, but it makes me so lazy. I was going to talk about something, and I was definitely trying to remember. And then I got distracted, and now I have no idea what I was going to talk about, only that I found it really interesting or whatnot.

                Well, I was so convinced that I would end up writing about Thanksgiving. (No, that wasn’t the thing that I was trying to remember). But it ends up that I’m linking to a Christmas carol! It’s so pretty!

                Anyways, I adore teddy bears. And really, I knew that I was supposed to talk about something. And one of these says, I’ll do a legitimate writing fiction post. About actual writing, instead of just randomness. And less about my own life and more about… writing. Wow, I’m repetitive today.  

I love Christmas carols

                Today, I have found out that I am an extremely nervous traveller. Commuter. Rider. Whatever. Actually, I’m just an extremely nervous person overall. I guess this has to do with the fact that I just want to be home when it is cold and icky outside. I want to be bundled up in warm clothing and watching the weather, not be in it. Also, it’s because my parents got the car stuck somewhere once, and then it ended up being frozen shut for a while. That was pretty unpleasant – I think we got an ice scraper that year.

                At least it’s not as bad as Hopeless Romantic’s story, where the sidewalk was frozen over, and then they randomly decided to pour hot water on the ice to make the ice melt away. Obviously, that didn’t work. Guess what happened? You’re right! They ended up with a thicker layer of ice.

                I am currently trying to compile a Christmas playlist on my IPod. I really want the Glee Christmas album. But right now, I’m listening to DBSK’s Christmas album. It’s acapella! And it’s truly beautiful. And I hate that I feel like my sinuses are going to blow up. I need Glee! And I’m going to explode. Right now. Excuse me while I explode and make Asian herbal remedies at the same time.

                I have Asian herbal remedies. Really, I can’t focus on this blog. Unpleasant! But there was a terrible snowplow that tried to destroy my snow. But it failed. BECAUSE I BLEW IT UP. No, it succeeded, and then there was an epic blizzard and the white street was back. Claire – 1, Snowplow – 0. Actually, it’ more like Nature – 1, Snowplow – 0.

                Hurray! Now I have Ke$ha and Glee! My life is complete. Now, to top it off with a picture! Big Bang, I love you! I know it’s a bit early, but I really love Big Bang, and I really love Christmas! Also, Seungri is so cheeky and adorable.

Captured in White

                Okay, so I’m blogging about snow because apparently, just because I blogged about other things before, it doesn’t count (says 3D. The person who didn’t actually post any words. Just pictures.) Anyways, it has finally started snowing over here in Issaquah, and it’s absolutely gorgeous. It’s not sticking, which I really didn’t expect it to, but that’s always a bit of a disappointment. I’ve noticed that I’ve failed to write anything even vaguely writing-fiction-esque, so I’ll do a setting description… maybe. Inspired by t he snow. Never mind, I’ll do that later, but now I’m just going to rant about how fabulous little flakes of pure awesome are drifting down from the light gray sky. I look out my window, and I see this gorgeous combination of green, yellow, and brown, with a touch of white basically everywhere. I have earmuffs (oh hey, this is turning out to be a stream of consciousness). They are fluffy and white, ad I’m not sure how effective earmuffs actually are, but at least I have them. And they make me look absolutely silly. But I am a happy child! HURRAY FULL OF AWESOME AND WIN. Yeah, I think I’m making even less sense than usual because I keep getting really excited whenever I look outside. And looking outside is really convenient at the moment, actually. And talking to 3D is also convenient. There is a very smart doggie living at his house. That is apparently giant and fluffy and white and full of adorable awesomeness. Silly 3D, why don’t you like the dog.

Anyways, it’s probably a good time to write my description. Hurray for more purple!

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She looked outside the bay window with the white crown molding, and surveyed the once-green and vibrant meadows. The sky was a very, very light gray – it reminded her of foam on a cup of coffee, except for less warm and rich in color. Little flakes of white appeared from thin air, high in the sky, making their graceful and leisurely decent down to the ground. It’s as if time slowed, and these flakes were suspended in motion in the chilly winter air… She believed that snow is magical – it’s the only thing that defies the laws of physics, being able to fly, drift, and float, laughing at all of us on the ground who have to follow the rules of gravity. The green and white speckled fields slowly became inundated with more and more white, layers and layers of ice forming over the once-living organisms. Muffled, suffocating – a freezing death. She blew on her hot cocoa and took a sip. Fire seeped down her throat and filled her veins with a wondrous warm glow. A small smile crept upon her lips, as she watched the sparkles fall from the sky. Beauty. Peace. Serenity.

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(And a white death awaiting, lurking in the corners as it surveys and observes you with the darkest of expressions. Fall, fall into my trap, fall and never rise!!!) Okay, as you can see, I got a bit off track. I started describing the snow as beautiful, then magical, then… evil? I’m not sure if I got to that in the actual muse. But it definitely wasn’t full of fabulous kindness. It’s like something you view from far away – far enough to stay away from its grasp, but close enough to enjoy it. Like a volcano. But not exactly.  I’m succeeding in distracting myself from actual homework. And work. And college essays. Oh dearie me.

Also it stopped snowing. How disappointing.

I almost forgot a picture! That would be really sad. Okay, so I searched for snow… and although it doesn’t have snow, it’s good enough. It had snow in the URL. Good enough.  

Escaping from my own world

I feel a lot of anguish these days. It’s really rather inconvenient. That means that I have to not do anything, and then watch YouTube videos about Japanese game shows or Korean pop stars to make myself feel better. I’m constantly reminded that I’m not happy with my world, and I have to escape to somewhere else, to someone else’s. I read Hopeless Romantic’s post, and I was thrown into a hopeless despair spiral, which is similar to, but not the same as the sneaky hate spiral. For one, despair spiral contains more self-loathing, anguish, and pity than the hate spiral.

And suddenly, I am no longer upset. Because I started reading the post about going to a party heavily sedated again. And so I was full of giggles. But I realize that this is definitely going to be a problem, if I continue to run away from my emotions, and not solve anything. Actually, just kidding, running away into a world that is not my own sounds like a perfect solution. And when I am calmed down enough, I’ll go do college essays. I just decided that the best solution is to never read anything sad ever again. And never go on Facebook ever, ever again. And just stop thinking about life in general. Yup, that sounds like a good plan. Avoidance strategies, go! And also, I just love human Tetris. It never fails to make me laugh and not do college essays for approximately two hours. Thanks, Inx, thanks. I was totally okay with just being generally extra excited about Big Bang and random sketchiness (I realized that I could read Chinese subtitles! Oh my goodness, my Chinese is a lot better than I thought), but no, you had to show me random videos of human Tetris that I had never seen before.

I think Japanese game shows are absolutely fabulous. Seriously. Hurray treadmills and learning cookies! Haha, that sounds so random.

Also, I want this slide in my backyard. Seriously. That’s like the best slide I have ever seen.

Basically, I am extra excited over things that have nothing to do with my life. Basically zero pertinence. And I think I’ll keep it that way.

Does it count that I uploaded a picture if I embedded a video? I’m not sure… because the last video was about GD, and therefore, it totally makes sense that I don’t add on another picture. Also, do not question my taste in pictures. I just think it’s totally adorable. And this is due to a reaction to yet another video that I watched yesterday. It might be actually the cutest thing ever.  I really like uniforms. I don’t understand why the world can’t have uniforms. And well designed ones. Because it’s very, very classy.

G-Dragon ♥!

This might be the most adorable and hilarious thing ever!
And definitely improved my mood by about... a million... a million what? I don't know! BUT I'M RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY NOW ♥



♥ Isn't that the cutest thing in the world?

Top 5 Randomness

So, I read this post, and I was inspired to do my own person of the year. And then I realized that I didn’t care about these people. Whatever, they do not influence my life that awesomely. I’d rather write about Allie and helper dog or Katie. However, the Times list is about how these people are influential… and then I realized my problem. My influential list would be the most boring thing in the world. And so I wouldn’t write it. If I wrote it Allie and Katie and Mike Tompkins, it wouldn’t be true. They’re not influential, just amazingly amusing.

Then I thought about the conversations that Inx and I had about top 5’s. And I decided that although these people were not the most influential people ever, they had something else in common: they’re people that Inx and I and many other people (yeah, sorry, people I don’t remember you. Oh hey, I found a reference in 3D’s post. Yay!) reference stuff from. Actually, they’re not necessarily people. They can be movies. Also, I’m not sure they’re even in order. It’s just randomness.

ACTAULLY I FEEL LIKE MOST PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE READING THIS BECAUSE IT IS TOO RANDOM. Hi, if you don’t know me very well, then you should just – I totally started writing this. And then I realized that this was only amusing if it was in context some of the stuff is pretty terrible sounding. And yeah, I just deleted the rest of the post. J That’s pretty terrible of me.

Anyways, basically it was a collection of randomness from Mean Girls (Hi, this is Karen Smith. It’s 70 degree outside, and there’s… a 30% chance it’s already raining!), (500) Days of Summer (Roses are red, violets are blue, fuck you whore), Hyperbole (BOOOOOOOP WE ARE NOISE-MAKING BUDDIES), Road to El Dorado (BOOBS! AND THEY BROUGHT GOLD!), and Awkward Zombie (DOIP.) And more Mean Girls and (500) Days of summer, but I decided to leave those out. I’ll bring them up sometime anyways J. OH HEY, IT LOOKS LESS WEIRD and terrible WHEN IT’S HIDDEN IN A GIANT CHUNK OF TEXT. Also, those are five. Hurray!

YAY I posted again, which means I get to find yet another picture! Yay, picture time! Also, it’s about 40 degrees out, and not raining. And not snowing. The snow part is more important. And it’s not a picture of GD or T.O.P! See, I do switch things up.

Sorry, D-, I forgot to start editing. I’ll get working on that…

Dreams - my own warped reality

“Every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face, it’s haunting me”

Dreams are really scary for me. You know the “a dream is a wish your heart makes/in dreams you will lose your heartache” phrase? For me, it’s more like “a dream is a mirror of your life, whether it’s heartbreak or happiness”. And unfortunately for me, it’s heartbreak a lot of the time.

The dreams are really realistic too – I can see every detail of his face, every expression: which is basically extra creepy because it means that I’ve stored all these details in my brain. And it’s like if something was very significant in my life, I experience it over and over again. But not the good things. More like the absolutely terrible things. They replay and replay over and over in my head.

I hate this twisted reality – not knowing what’s real… not being able to tell it’s a dream… well, no I can tell it’s a dream. But it’s definitely realistic, even if it’s warped. There are parts of it that are so real: I can see the setting, each place that I’ve been before, places that apparently have significance to me. However, there are very strange aspects of it – driving a bed instead of a car, a jungle inside an airport, the walls made of leather and patterned like – I’m not even sure. But it was cushioned. And the wall was massive. And beautiful – I remember once I was lying on the ground, staring at it… I’ve never seen anything like that in my life, yet I saw it in my dream in such vivid detail.

Very rarely, actually, can I ever remember specific people. It’s like people aren’t important enough for me to remember, I remember the setting, the emotions – I know people are there, and I think most of the time they are people I don’t know. People that are faceless (but they aren’t actually faceless, they have faces that I just don’t care about or recognize) that allow me to float in a crowd, surrounded yet completely alone.

Just like I know there were people on the highway, they were inside the cars, yet I didn’t see any of them. I just knew that the cars weren’t empty, the streets filled, and I walked facing the view and I sang with every drop of feeling in my soul. I sang beautifully – too bad it’s something I can’t do in real life. I can remember everything I felt, the utter anguish, loneliness… it mirrors my life. I’ve always wanted to analyze my dreams, figure out what I really wanted on the inside… but I’m not sure it actually works that way. I know it’s an extension of my subconscious, and really, I can probably find out a lot about myself just by doing that… maybe. It’s not like I’m blind. I think I see myself for who I am… I can see my flaws, I know what I yearn for… unless I really don’t know and my subconscious is desperately trying to tell me something. But that seems strange to me, that I don’t actually know myself. Of course I know myself! Silliness.

I dislike disturbing dreams. They make my entire morning uneasy, they make me not want to see people just because they were terrible in my dreams. And then I feel bad for being so influenced by myself, by my dream.

I’ve been writing this post for about three and a half hours. Sorry if it sounds super choppy and repetitive, I’ve just been distracted. I might post again.

Oh, and just because I feel like I need to add a picture on… I don’t really feel in the mood though. I feel a bit depressed and unwilling and unknowing and unsure. Yes, unsure, that was the word that I was going for. And I’m just letting all the words that come to mind tumble, tumble right out of my mouth. I need to find a picture…. Well, let’s just put a picture of T.O.P J Because he is full of fabulousness and adorableness. I love how they’re all just super adorable ♥

And suddenly, my mood just got about ten thousand times better

Into Your Arms

Oh. My. Goodness. This guy might be the most awesome thing on the face of the planet. Because he is. How the crepe does he make those noises with his mouth. Also his eyes are absolutely gorgeous – it’s like you can just stare into them forever. Also watch his cover of Fireflies. I really enjoyed it.

Wow I’m so terrible at keeping this stream of consciousness going, because I’m talking to BlenderLid and failing at saving things, and other people. Yeah, I did get tired of listing people after one person. I’m listening to “The Force of Love” now… I’m going to go back to listening to Mike Tompkin’s version of Teenage Dream.

OH MY GOODNESS I FIGURED OUT HOW TO SAVE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW ACCOMPLISHED I FEEL. FALSE SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT. I think I’m simple minded. And I’m afraid of technology. To a certain degree. BlenderLid makes me feel inadequate. Like all the time. Oh dear goodness. I think I definitely fear technology. Especially since my computer LOVES BREAKING. Every other day. Thanks for destroying my life. Both of you. (Wait, my computer became an entity that I talk to?)

Anyways, I think I like these altered lyrics of Teenage Dream. It’s less… racy? And it’s slightly more adorable ♥ “Let’s fall into each other’s arms, no regrets, just love” which is better than implying terrible and horrid things. Just kidding. But it’s definitely more “refined”, I suppose. I’m pretty sure my commas are wrong. But I never understand how to use commas in those situations, so I’m going to do what makes sense to me. “You make me feel like I’m living a teenage dream, and when you turn it on, I can’t sleep” ♥ I love this song so much – and this guy just makes it so much better.

I had to turn the music off. I’m so bad at blogging when I’m listening to something at the same time. It’s like it uses up too much of my attention, and then I’m super like what’s going on I cannot type I only have – what was I talking about again? I decided that I’m blogging every day because he is too. We have this arrangement where we each post one time a day. Hopefully, we’ll be able to post once a day for the rest of the year – just kidding, I know that’ll never happen. Maybe until the end of the month. That seems way more likely.

Oh my goodness, BlenderLid, you do love me. I don’t understand you. But I do hope that you do love me. And you’re kind of fabulous. Stop thinking I’m obnoxious. I’m definitely not obnoxious all the time. Actually, you’re probably going to never speak to me again after you read this. But I don’t think my blog is important enough to you, so hopefully you won’t read this. I’d definitely prefer it if you didn’t decide to ignore me forever.

Anyways. I feel like I should link to Hopeless Romantic’s blog, just because he created one – a whole year early. You overachiever (yeah, I know, it’s my fault). Plus, you like adorable romantic things, and will definitely post them. Can I request a satire piece, please?

Enchanted is such a cute movie. While I was at internship, StarsandtheMoon (aka E-), S- (because she is extra super secretive and no one knows about her blog… except for a couple people of course), TakingOverTheWorld, and who knows who else were watching Enchanted. While I am slightly jealous, I realize that I’ve also memorized the movie, so every time Stars texted me with a reference to a scene, it’s like I was watching it in my head. J See, I’m awesome like that.

I just read this post. I have to point out the part about part where you said knowing the person doesn’t change the quality of the writing. I only agree with that to a certain extent – I love E-‘s story because it’s so much like her. I can see how much it ties into her life, and I feel like it makes it better because I have that kind of extra insight that other people may not have. So yes, it does change the quality of the story. Also, sometimes if it’s too strongly based off of someone’s life, it lessens the creativity of it – therefore the author of the writing does change my opinion. I think the idea that you’re trying to say is that if a post was originally good, and then you figured out who wrote it, some people believe it heightens the quality of the piece: which it doesn’t (I agree with you). If it’s good, it’s good; if it sucks, it sucks. Doesn’t matter who wrote it.

Anyways, I decided that I have been neglecting posting pictures of T.O.P. Therefore, I shall post this one – I like the hat. It’s fabulous.

AND A FINAL NOTE: I HOPE FOR SNOW!!! Somehow, I feel like a snowstorm isn’t going to happen. L

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Fair Maiden

I’m kind of confused by the search keywords that people use to find my blog. I’m not exactly sure how it works, because the keywords that are used are words or phrases that aren’t actually in my blog. Of course, there’s the obligatory “the ink from my fingertips” and “invisiblepinkink”, but there’s also ones like “and then moved onto green” and “was the fair maiden”, along with other random fragments of sentences. What? “Was the fair maiden”? I have never talked about that. That doesn’t even make sense, it’s not even a full sentence. I don’t think I’ve even had the word “maiden” in any of my posts. Maybe I’ll write a generic sketch about this “fair maiden” who pines for her prince charming. Or pines for the open “green” plains. I don’t know what I’m talking about.

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                “Fair” is what the world called her, “deathly pale” is what she regarded herself as. Really, she got little to no sunlight; the world was trying to preserve her most “delicate and fragile beauty.” They didn’t want their most “treasured and lovely princess” to be out in the oh-so-dangerous world. She wrinkled her nose. Yeah right, “fair and delicate”. It was more like they’re trying to keep her locked up. It’s not like she was made of paper. She was as healthy and strong as any other girl, and she wanted nothing more than to run outside and feel the sun on her skin, the wind in her hair, the soft earth beneath her bare feet! But no, that would be “unrefined.” So what if she trips and falls? It’s not like bruises don’t heal, it’s not like a grass stain can’t be washed out. She was nobility – really, she could just buy a new dress. She pouted, shaping her pink lips into a cute moue. She’d tried everything – asking, begging, pleading, using her authority, using her feminine wiles, running away, sneaking out – and nothing worked. She was always at the center of attention; even if she tried she couldn’t become unnoticed. She flopped onto a chair in a highly ungraceful and unsophisticated manner, causing her nurse to frown at the pretty girl from the rocking chair she was sitting at. Like the sulking child she was, the girl stuck out her tongue at the woman, and turned to the window. Huffing an indignant and annoyed breath, she continued to sulk at the landscape, wanting nothing more than to join the glorious beauty outside.

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                There we go. Fair maiden, all wrapped up in a post. I feel like this is a teenager full of rebellion and whatever. Silliness!

                Oh, and because I said I would, I will mention yet another blog: he is wonderful! I love his writing, it’s very well done. I’m surprised that the people who speak the least in real life are actually fabulous at expressing themselves in writing. The irony.

                Okay, and just to continue with my picture trend – here is a picture of GD with his puppy. It’s quite adorable… but the puppy is kind of wrinkled and looks strange… Oh well. It’s still adorable and they are both peacefully asleep.