A Different Kind Of Normality

                I have a new favorite story. It’s called “The Troublesome Snow White.” It’s not exactly a written story, but it’s funny nonetheless. And it’s the most hilarious game ever. But I want to be narrator. Because I’m pretty sure it’s a lot more fun watching than actually playing. Dorkiness just makes me so happiness. Yes, makes me happiness. Not happy, happiness.

                Anyhow, I basically have the outline for my story. I told it to GenreWhiplash. For some reason, he doesn’t think that Linali is a normal person. She is so normal. She likes hiking and cooking, and she works a day job at a boutique three days a week, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. She has a good sense of fashion, and can run around kicking butt in four inch stilettos, but prefers more practical shoes. With good traction. Just because she runs around dressed in skintight camouflage-wear (or black or protective gear, I can’t really decide) doesn’t mean that she has to be the same kind of undercover agent as seen in the movies. I mean really, it’s pretty amazing they don’t break their ankles every five seconds. But I guess if they broke their ankles every five seconds, it wouldn’t be much of a show. And they wouldn’t be so kickass.

                Okay, maybe she isn’t so normal. When she is bored and assigned a job, she goes and climbs trees and throws shurikens at people. I’m not sure if I decided on that part yet, but it sure does sound fun. Wow, okay, everyone should just stop reading my blog until after I present, which is in forever because I like talking about the plot of my story. Shame on me. Oh well, I’m not sure people mind me spoiling my own story.

                Also there will be an epic cabin with an epic cliff. Also, I need to figure out what to name the boss-dude-person. Maybe he won’t have a name. He’ll just be “sir”, and there will be a sense of detachment. And I can’t decide how she should meet them. Because it would be kind of weird if she were just like in front of them. And not being all secretive and whatnot. Because what will that do to her identity? Maybe she can be all ninja and whatnot. All they see is that her eyes are a “startling shade of grey”. She can wear a wig, too. OH! They can think that she’s a man. And call her Prince. Because she’s the Prince of the Night. (Oh my goodness, that’s so cliché/corny.) It’s okay, I like it, it makes me giggle. Linali, the prince of the night. I kind of like the sound of it. And I can be as ridiculous as I want.

                Yes, of course she’s a normal person. I mean, normal people obviously all lead two lives, one of which is a shadow royalty figure. Duh.

Present

I figure since I have been a good girl and blogging about my story, I am allowed to post up a picture that I find just so adorable ♥. I love the entire photoshoot. Where there was a giant pink pony. It was kind of disturbing actually. But Sungmin's so cute.

He's like *blink blink* I am cute.

I like your tiara, too, Sungmin ♥



Insanity

                So, to my chagrin, I’m falling deeper and deeper into fangirl-land. And knowing me and my obsessiveness, I will wish the K idols happy birthday on my blog, thus cementing my role as a fanatic fangirl. Seriously, I want to do it. But it’s just like, i don’t know. I’m not sure I totally appreciate being just another one of those mindless zombies… I guess I can deal with it? Since I’m acting like one anyhow. I guess worshipping real (well, they live and breathe, not sure how much of their image is real though) people (guys) is better than worshipping animated ones. I’m growing up, okay?

                Anyways, what brought up this random fangirling comment? Seungri is turning 20/21 in about a week. And I was like that’s so intense and then I realized that it was quite sad that I memorized their birthdays. Although I’m probably going to forget soon. Because my memory is just that bad. And also, the fact that I know birthdays is ridiculously pathetic. I’m not accepting this fangirl status very well.

                Anyways, I decided to have another conversation with Linali. Yay, I finally appeared! You were neglecting me. I still don’t really want to think about you. I have other more important things, like college. And K idols. But if you don’t think about who I am, and what I will be in your story, your story’s going to be totally messed up when you write it. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. What color eyes do you have? Grey. That’s kind of creepy. But also mysterious at the same time. They’re grey like death. Shouldn’t it be black like death? Black eyes are so forking (she is censored) creepy. Yup. Pretty much.  Did you just censor me? Yeah. I don’t want that kind of language on my blog. But I want to choose how I get to speak! Actually, it would just be epic awkward for me to have people read that. So no, as of now you don’t really get to swear, unless I say “she swore under her breath.” No actual swear swords. Awww… okay. Yeah, it’s supposed to go with your dignified (haha) and elegant style. HEY. I AM SO DIGNIFIED. DON’T YOU DARE LAUGH AT ME. The more I write these, the more I just realize that Linali is myself. Well duh, I’m a part of your brain. But that’s so awkward. I don’t want my character to reflect me so much. This is why I was going to not make you Asian. But you ended up being Asian anyhow. Because I am awesome. And Linali just sounds Asian. Even if it’s an Americanized spelling of Lenalee. It’s derived from an Asian name. Yeah, I know, I know. Let’s see… this is like, a stream of consciousness/mind-barf version of me deciding what kind of character she is. You are… of medium height. A little on the small side, to fit into small spaces. Where the crepe am I going? Why do I need to fit into small spaces? Well, you do shadowy work. It would be good if you could hide. Also, your hair is going to be just above your waist. Wow, do I die by getting it caught in something? Okay, fine, a little shorter than that. A little longer than mid-back. Shorter. NO. it’s a compromise, and I’m still the writer, and… why on earth am I compromising with myself. Haha, you’re insane. And you’re the result of a troubled mind. Perhaps you’ll be of some… mixed breed. I am NOT a dog. I meant mixed heritage. Maybe not solely Asian. Because you need to look similar to other people, like high cheekbones and whatnot, but still have wide, almond shaped eyes (yes, it works like that) and black hair. Your eyes aren’t that slanted either. Perhaps you have some European blood mixed into you several generations back.

                Hmm, your habitat. I am not an animal. Your habitat will be HEY. STOP IGNORING ME. this secluded house in the middle of a forest. Or by a cliff. Or in the ocean. Let’s just try in the forest. Wait, no, that doesn’t work. You like forest-y places, but you don’t live in the forest. Because otherwise, you have no reason to go up with him into his cabin up on a mountain overlooking this beautiful and deep lake. Hmm, you can’t really live in the city either. You need human interaction though. Maybe instead of an investor working from home, you’ll live in a giant estate just outside of town, but work in a famous boutique. After all, you’re being paid in other ways, it doesn’t matter to you what your salary is for your cover-up job. And you meet some of your clients that way. Maybe you work in a male clothing store. And your uniform is… black tailored pants, a white button down shirt, black vest, and black pumps. Your hair is tied up. What the heck? I’m a waiter? No. But I rather like the idea of that outfit. Also you make me sound like a prostitute. You’re not, I guarantee it.  But you meet lots of rich, bored males that resent people with a passion.  I still feel like a whore. Ah, whatever, you’re not.

                You need a code name. Um, I feel like calling you Prince. Because you’re going to be super intense with martial arts and that makes me think of Sungmin. And he’s super adorable. Okay, this conversation just ended because I’m going off on a tangent about K idols again. Okay, even though I didn’t really talk about them that much – I think I talked about them enough to be able to put a picture on. Hurray! Picture time!

Computer Fail

Guess what? Today, I broke my computer. Yes, you read that right. I actually broke my computer. Not like I had to restart it broke. Like I couldn’t restart it broke. And I can’t find my profile thing. It’s just gone. And really, it’s just because I’m ridiculously impatient. My computer was just being laggy and slow as usual, and I forced it to shut down. And then it kind of wouldn’t work properly after that. I guess the first time I realized something was wrong was when there was this weird screen (no, it wasn’t blue) where it told me that some files in my computer were unreadable. That should’ve been the first sign. But it turned on and I couldn’t see anything wrong with it (the screen looked right…) and I was like oh well, I guess that doesn’t really mean anything. First lesson learned today: when my computer tells me something is wrong, something is wrong and I should be worried. And then I opened MSN messenger. And then it was like BLUE SCREEN I ARE THE ANGER AT YOU. So I didn’t really think much of it. Because my computer does that a lot. Apparently, it’s not a good thing (just in case you couldn’t tell, I know it’s a bad thing, but my computer does do it a lot). Except for usually, my computer restarts itself right after it does that. And I’m like Meh, that was obnoxious, but no big deal. Okay I got tired about writing about it. Either way, I’m working to fix it. And thank you people who were on the phone with me. Especially J-. Because I called him first. And therefore, that means I was the most panicky with him. And I get very panicky. Thank you for being calm and whatnot. Oh my goodness, computer, please – what. Seriously? “The Group Policy Client service failed the logon. Access is denied.” QQ. Seriously. What does that mean? Does that mean I don’t get to get on my… wait, did the computer just decide to turn off? When it – hmm… uh, this is a problem. I cannot access my account. I am so tired of this. Where/how can I just FIX IT RIGHT NOW. Because I’d like my computer back. Okay, I will try restarting the computer. Because I’ve tried the same thing three times in a row in hopes that it would have un-broken itself between the times that I tried. I wish it worked that way. (Oh, by the way, I am on a laptop that is not mine. Because I am not epic enough to be restarting while still typing up a word document.) I seriously hope that it lets me in this time. What’s a group policy client service? I think that I should not go into engineering. I feel like I would just accidentally forever break everything. And then it would suck. A lot. Okay, this is seriously a problem. Because restarting it didn’t do anything. I am less worried now. Because I have all of my files safely tucked away. It’s just obnoxious that I cannot have my computer anymore. That I can’t use it. Oh well, I’ve been needing a new computer anyhow. What is the lifetime of a computer anyways? I’ve had mine for ages. Just kidding, not ages. More like since eighth grade, which isn’t that long of a time I guess. In the grand scheme of things. I was going to have another dialogue with Linali, but I don’t really feel up to it. Perhaps later tonight, I will do that. But for now, I will finish my incomplete thoughts about my computer, and just leave it at that. Good night, all.

Dialogue with Linali

                Okay, so I thought about the passage that I wrote yesterday, and I realized that I like the premise. And the hallway. That is based off of something that is not in real life but in real life but not. Anyways, I realized that she is like, I’m looking at a hallway, and it is epic-face, and suddenly I am epic tired. I am going to slump down against this wall and angst about ambiguous things that the writer doesn’t want to tell you about right now! Hurray! I like the name Linali. She was going to be white, and I was going to name her Jacqueline and call her Jack, but it turned out that her name is Linali. And now she has long, sleek, shiny black hair. That she ties up into a ponytail. And she is badass. Actually, I don’t know if she actually will be. But she is in my mind right now. I think some of you know what she does for a living. And what the entire premise of the story is. Because I like sharing what the story is. Oops, spoiler.

                Hi Linali, you’re adorable and cute and I love you. Why are you talking to me? I’m a figment of your imagination. In fact, why am I answering? This just means you’re talking to yourself. Geez, this girl has an attitude. I’m not sure if I’m going to change that or not. And really, I feel the need to make her perfect. Minus that one little problem. That I will not tell you about. I think that people are going to be annoyed at my story. This is okay, I don’t think I care. I’ll deal with it if I end up caring.

                Okay, so I cannot decide what she looks like. I know she has black hair and probably Asiatic features to go with it. I don’t know how tall she will be. Actually, I think I will have a picture of her in my head. And I will base it off of that. But not really. I will change her to be anything that I feel she should be. Like be awesome enough to have a gun strapped to her leg. And point it at people a lot. But actually not really, because that would mean she is bad at being non-obvious. Being subtle. That’s it. I will not walk around with a gun strapped to me. That’s against the image I’m trying to build. Fine, you don’t have to. And you won’t. You can be full of frills and happiness. I don’t want that either. Can’t I just be a normal person? At least on the outside? And give me a normal job as a cover. (Okay, I can’t believe that I’m talking to myself, like seriously. What’s wrong with me.) You know what, Linali? I don’t care about you right now. Deal with it. You have no cover or a second job. Go die in a hole. *Glare* Just kidding, I love you. You can be like, a home trader/investor or something. Because you live in a really nice place. Because rich people pay a lot. I really don’t know, I’ll think about it. That’s what I thought. But no really, I don’t want to talk about you anymore. Get over yourself.

                I like rollercoasters. They are lots of funsies and I am the happiness. I think that rollercoasters should be the normal form of transportation. Because seriously, why wouldn’t you want to go up and down and in corkscrews and loop-de-loops all the time? Walking is so boring. Rollercoasters are more fun.

                I’m still on your mind. I know. Shut up and go away. Is that any way to treat your main character? Why yes it is. Fine. I’ll give you severe writer’s block. Ha. See what you’re going to do then. Is that even possible? For me to give writer’s block to myself? Actually, it’s probably totally possible, since I’m talking to the character inside my head. Actually, Linali, you’re supposed to be a soft-spoken, elegant, and dainty girl. You’re very coarse and sarcastic right now. Hey, I’m a reflection of you. You’re the sarcastic one. Point taken. Actually, I’ll figure out what she’s going to be. I think she’d be more dynamic if she wasn’t this perfect flower of a child. I also realized that I can’t make the main guy character based off a Korean idol. Because then I can’t kill him brutally. And I would feel bad, and I would turn the entire story into a sappy and icky romance. Because I would love the K idol. Actually, I could just write about two K idols. And make everyone barf with the utter sappiness of it all. And clichéd-ness. Nah, I’ll leave that to my character sketches. You thought about abandoning me? *pout* Wait, now you’re all cutesy? You’re supposed to be badass. I can be as badass as I want. Doesn’t change that fact that I’m a girl. And I will act accordingly feminine and adorable. Okay, that works for me. Alright, I’m tired of talking to you. You will shut up for now. And I will publish this post. Okay, bye.

Post-blog-note: Wow, I’m crazy. Like, not even kidding. I’m seriously crazy. And this was totally mind barf. Or stream of consciousness. That definitely sounds better than mind-barf.

And thus, it begins...

                I suppose, instead of writing little sketches that amuse me beyond all belief, I need to start working on the outline of my story. Maybe I will just write chunks of story and decide whether I like it or not. And then copy and pasta all of them together and then I get a really choppy weird story that is written which is the most important part.

                Okay, I don’t even know if this part is even going to be in my story. But most likely it will, because I actually bothered to write it, and I don’t want to bother to write a new beginning. Yay spoilers!

₰₰₰

                Her hand trembled as she stared down the lengthy corridor of the man’s home, the floor sloping up, the walls sloping in. The walls and floor were painted a stark white with black stripes every ten feet, and an abnormally blue sky with clouds on the ceiling. A small door, painted a bright yellow, was far off into the distance, although she was sure it wasn’t that far away. He was an artist, and lived in art. His door was most likely only three feet in height, as to make the illusion complete. She felt so visible, so naked, so vulnerable to everything. There was no way she could hide. If he were to come out right this moment, it would be messy. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to escape.

                Her hand moved to her leg to finger the sleek metal instrument strapped to her thigh. Her thin fingers trembled as they felt the smooth, warm metal. She breathed in and out deeply. Why’d I decide to accept this job? I’m not ready… I’m not. She cursed silently. Coward! How had she become this way? Since when did she become a timid child, afraid of what she does best? Since when had she lost her competence? She winced. Oh yeah, that.

                She leaned against a black stripe, blending perfectly into the strip. Mentally exhausted, she chastised herself for being so weak. Linali, coveted for her clean jobs and detachment, reduced to a quivering mess. What they would say if they could see her now! Weak. Useless. She bit her lip angrily. No, never again. I will never make that mistake ever again.

₰₰₰

                Oh hey, I decently liked that. If you didn’t, too bad. I know, I know, The Writing Life says that I should throw away the beginning. But I won’t. Ha. I know where I’m going now. Awesomeness! I think I should let people know that they’re going to bash their head into a wall thinking that I’m going to do something, but I promise you – nothing actually. But hopefully, it’s not as bad as you think.

At the Beach

                So, it’s the first of December, and therefore, I get to write about – OH GOODNESS I CAN’T DO THIS I’M JUST – okay. I definitely just started writing, stopped, started again, and the stopped again. I’ve just been watching videos, ever since I got home. I realize that I need to do the two commentaries, but I’ve just been so distracted!

                Oh, today, I was going write a parody of Kitty Johl’s college essay. Now, before you yell at me in indignant rage about how I shouldn’t mock other people’s college essays, she was the one that wanted to turn it into a comedy in the first place. Actually, I’m not going to do a very good job because I have like, heart palpitations right now.

                Oops, actually I closed the document and cannot pull it up again. Maybe I’ll just do it from memory. Or I could write a character sketch. Hey, that sounds more fun. Oh my goodness I have a viewer from Singapore. I’m pretty sure that was the very first person from Singapore ever (to read my blog). Although I have so many pictures, I’m not sure that it’s my writing that’s attracting them. Okay, today I will legitimately put on a picture. Not just because I randomly decided to, but because it will pertain to my blog. Also yes, this is a guy. Of my imagination.

~♥~

                He skipped on ahead in his pale pink cardigan, twirling as he breathed in the crisp, salty air. He stretched his arms out toward the sea, and embraced the open and vast sea. He turned around to see his best friends farther behind, grinning just as broadly as he was. He waved at them to hurry up, and danced in place. He raised his hand in a peace sign and smiled cheekily. He loved the beach! Even if it was the dead of winter and the beach was rocky instead of soft, white sand, he still loved the sound of waves lapping at the shore, the cry of the seagulls, the breeze carrying sea salt rustling his hair. He strolled back and forth, waiting for the others to arrive. He watched his shoes step on the rocks, and felt the unevenness of the ground beneath him.

Suddenly, a glimmer caught his eye. A tidal pool! He giggled with glee, and scurried over to it. He crouched down and peered into the shallow pool. He put his two closed fists against his face, and prepared to see the little critters that lived in that tiny world. He surveyed it, but was disheartened. There wasn’t anything besides kelp! Usually, he could see at least a little fish or two. He squished his cheeks together in a pout, as he stared down at the empty pool. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw movement. He took a closer look, and then gasped, elated! It was a tiny little crab, the same color as the rocks. He gingerly picked the little thing up, and placed it on an open palm.

“Hi little guy,” he cooed at the tiny crustacean. “Aren’t you just the cutest little thing! Too bad you don’t come in pink, that would make you ever cuter,” he added, watching the animal scurry to and for on his hand.

“Hey, what are you looking at?” His best friend finally reached where he was crouching.

“Look, isn’t it cute?” He gushed, completely enamored with his tiny new friend. He held his hands up to his face and gave his best friend an adorable puppy-eyed gaze. “It’s such an itty bitty thing, so adorable!”

“You’re adorable,” his friend returned, amused at his childish friend. “But let the little guy return to his home now,” he added. “You don’t want him to miss home now, do you? I know I would be sad if someone took you away from me.”

He puffed out his cheeks. “He hasn’t been away that long yet!” He countered, but nevertheless gently set the crab back down on a rock, and watched it crawl away. He smiled at his friend. “There, he’s free now! And I’m right here with you.”

His friend poked him on the nose. “And that’s how it should be.” He reached down and pulled the him up into standing position. “Let’s go see what the rest of them are up to.”

With a smile on his face, he walked side by side with the best person in the world. I’m so lucky! He gazed at the smooth face of the boy next to him, giggled a bit, and then ran forward to greet the rest of them.

~♥~

Okay, I’m sorry! But I loved it! And I’ve been watching too many videos… and my imagination seriously is working overtime. I love K-idols. So cute ♥!