I'm legal

                I’m an adult now. But only in age. Not in maturity. It’s not like something’s going to change overnight… in fact, I might be less mature than I used to be. Or not. It’s not like my maturity increasingly dwindles. It just stays at a constant state of immaturity. And guess what? Don’t care if I am. As long as I’m living my life to the fullest (well… as much as I can with the restrictions that I have around me), it’s fine.

                I think birthdays for me have gotten to the point where I view it as one day/year closer to my death. When you’re little, you want to grow up. When you’re older, you want to stay young… And yeah, I’ve already gotten to that point. At one time or another in my life, I think I couldn’t wait to be 18. And people told me to be patient, that youth is more of a blessing than I thought. Of course, I didn’t believe them.

                How depressing! Today is supposed to be happy. Something about having the privilege to do lots of things now. Whatever, it’s not like I was so excited to… I’m not even sure. I know if I had a license, I wouldn’t have to wait my six months to drive people around (Inx). But, I have no license. So, overall, it’s not exactly that fun. And it’s not like I can go out and drink or something (not that I would). It’s just 18. Nothing really special happens at that age. I can go to big people jail. Obviously, that’s just such a big comfort. People make too big a deal out of it. It just means that I have about a billion more responsibilities than I used to. My parents can hold it over my head that you’re 18, you should help out around the house more. I don’t really want to, okay? Leave me alone.

                Still depressing and cynical. Right now, my birthday wish is to have a giant freak snowstorm that will freeze the school over in a giant block of ice that will not melt until April. That would be beyond awesome. Because I’m still going to college, and my classes are still useless, and really, WHY CAN’T I GO TO COLLEGE NOW. Because I’m sick and tired of high school.

                I think that one quality an adult must have is to be depressing, cynical, and nag and whine a whole bunch. Even though adults tell children not to whine, they sure as hell do, too. Hurray, I got that down perfectly. I can whine and nag like no tomorrow.

                Um, yeah. Not in the best mood ever.

               Well, I got to see Rosaline today! I missed her a lot… I’m glad she came to visit all of us. That’s more than I would do. I miss having her around. I really miss having the old seniors around… it’s okay without everyone, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t miss them.

                However, I guess it’s a good thing that I will be able to live without everyone. I’ve been worried… but life goes on. I meet new people, leave people behind, people leave me behind, whatever. I don’t know how I manage to be so pessimistic.

                Happy 18^th birthday, me.